Cold Flames

I still can't get over how hot Zayn is in this video, you guys please don't get bother by the explicit contents, okay. Did you heard it? About his recent breakup with Gigi. Soon as I heard the news spreaded, I straight away looked into his instagram. You know at first I thought salah ig ke apa ni, but I wasn't wrong. It was Zayn's, but it wasn't like how it used to be. There were a bunch of shirtless photos, too many selfies per day, quotes and whatnots. Guess he must be having a hard time. 'Cause the Zayn that Ninna know (she has always been Zayn's die hard fan so yeah, she knows the whole damn thing), and that I barely know, or I'm just guessing (I only know that he's good looking); he's a mysterious kinda guy. Not one to open up too much to public either, except for his own musics. Hmm, poor soul. ♥

Raw

I criticized myself a whole lot more than people did of me. I feel like I never been really important to certain people who I love to the fullest. I don't know. Perhaps I don't give enough, that's why I don't feel enough. Oh I would love to blame the ups and downs of this hormone thingy. But nevermind. It would've been a lie if I said I never thought of getting out of this house and start over somewhere else alone, or another worst case of scenario, committing suicide. Just to see if there are people who really cry over me. I need to know, if there's at least one people who can't live without me. But thank God, I'm still sane and I'm not even gonna do anything that'll break the law in my religion. But yeah, that's what I feel when almost everytime it hits me. Knowing the fact that I couldn't even talked to someone about it, that's just very devastating to me. At this moment, I'd cry right away if I heard anyone asked me, "are you okay?". 'Cause I'm really not. I would appreciate it if the same question been asked to me like every single day, so I'll know that whenever I'm not feeling fine, there'll be a pair of ears and shoulders for me to lean on, to cry on. 

♥

Dream

My post this time around is somehow gonna make you literally cringe. Please don't judge. I've looked before I leap, okay. So here goes nothing. I actually have a list of names for my future kids already. Whoever I'm going to marry doesn't really concern me anymore since it's so hard to fall in love with a real decent guy. Now, now.

These are for the boys :

• Daniel Syakireen - Nabi Allah SWT, Pengenang budi
• Asadel Fareeq - Termakmur, Leftenan Jeneral
• Ayden Rizqee - Pancaran cahaya, Kurniaan Allah

These are for the girls :

• Shireen Adwa - Menyenangkan, Cahaya
• Daneen Mysha - Puteri, Kegembiraan
• Syaheen Amanda - Penyayang, Disayangi

Oh pfft! This is ridiculous. Like I'm even gonna be a mother someday.

♥

Keep On Track

Sometimes I remind my friends that no time is too early to plan something like your future, I guess maybe I should start using my own advice from now on, I need to keep reminding myself what are my targets so I don't end up drifting off my track, for my own good and for the sake of my own future because I only get one shot so I have to make it right. There are also times when I ask myself, what will happen to me in the future? Where will I be 10 years from tomorrow? Will I be just like the girl from today? Will I succeed or will I fail? I never seem to know the answer. I mean some people might have already planned everything since they were little, they know exactly what they want and where they wanna be in 10 years from now, but sadly I'm not one of them. Well I was but then as I grew older, I realize that we don't always get what we want and not everything will turn out the way we wanted it be and that is when I became the type of girl who goes with the flow and to be honest, that worries me, a lot. The future is full of surprises and some will give you the shock of your life at the most unexpected time. I sure hope I won't get a massive heart attack by any of the upcoming surprises though.

♥

A Wake-Up Call

I believe that everything happens for a reason. No matter how bad the situation is, there's definitely a reason for it. Eventhough life can be a bitch sometimes and has its ups and downs like a roller coaster or other times it feels like a merry-go-round, going around and around but seemingly getting no where, just remember that this is just how it is. This is life and you just have to deal with it.

Some people think that they're going through a really rough patch and they're the only ones who's going through it when the truth is, you ain't the only one. Open your big wide eyes and look around, everyone on this planet is going through 'something'. Everyone has their own problems, and some of them might actually have the same problem that you're going through right now. It's just that the only difference is how you handle it. Some people try to handle things by searching for a solution, some people have faith and hope for better things to come, some people just keeps complaining but never do anything about it, some people is just too ego to make things work, and others just simply give up and never bother to fix it. I'm not saying that I'm an expert on handling my problems, oh never. To be honest, I screw things up quite a lot myself actually. But what I've learned is that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle things.

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. Make sure that you are a good person and a good friend. Appreciate everything around you because you never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back. If you have something to say, just say it. Be honest and straight forward. When people give you advices for your own good, take it in and do something about it. Treat people like the way you want people to treat you. What is meant to be will end up good and what is not won’t. Relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you must move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don’t lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for. 

People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. So the next time you're having doubts about your life, or complain about how shitty your life is. Just stop. There are people out there who is dealing with stuff that is much more worse and painful than what you are dealing with right now. They just don't show it to the whole world. Being too dramatic about something small can cause something huge, something worse. Seeking sympathy from everyone isn't going to solve anything. Running away, hiding or killing yourself isn't going to do you any good. You'll just end up more miserable. 

Fight for what is worth it, handle things the mature way and have faith a little. And you too, alynn.

♥