Hello. I've been neglecting this blog of mine for quite some time now. Perhaps I've lost interest in writing ever since I'm learning to talk more about my feelings instead of keeping them hidden as writings and my life is full of happiness. Guess sadness is the key to write good stuffs. So here I am, exclude the sadness. I just figured that I need to spill out a secret here. Hmm. Before I met my lover, I knew this one guy 1 or 2 months earlier beforehand. We've been friends all this while. Even when I know I'm already in love with my baby, I do keep in touch with this guy like once in a month on friendship basis. To be honest, I liked him before everything and I remember how I impatiently made my move because he has been in my mind all the time. And I remember how I felt like I got rejected by this guy not just for once or twice. So I thought that maybe he's not ready or he's not into someone like me, and I distanced myself away from him for months, and those months were the moment when I became closer to my baby in our friendship stage. When my baby got a tight grip of my heart, I never made the first move in approaching that guy anymore. It was always him, either on my ig story, or my whatsapp status. It was steer clear to me that we're only gonna stay friends and I could accept that. Not a problem, 'cause I found my guy already. But then last week he texted me just to catch up, and clearly he said something like "I wish we could get married...", I was like, huh? Maybe he's just wishing things that could never happened, to happen. I wasn't sure what those words meant, and I wasn't interested to see where that conversation was leading us to. So I ended the conversation awkwardly, I don't exactly remember how.
But then 2 days ago, he texted me at midnight, I already fell asleep. So I replied him the next morning and just a simple catch up texting. And again, he said things like "when we're married, we'll be like....", I was taken aback. Like wait, what? What is this guy thinking? What makes him so sure that I want to marry him? Why now though? I was surprised and feeling guilty, but I'm not the wrong one here. Hmm. My original plan now was to settle down by next year, and I only tell 3 girlfriends of mine about it. I don't wanna tell anyone else. But since this guy's suddenly showing up and expressing his interest in me, I had no choice but to inform him that he's too late and I'm marrying someone else. I wanted to avoid from hurting anyone's heart. I was being very careful with my choice of words. At first he congratulated me, then I think, I've said it the wrong way, he got angry. But he shouldn't though, 'cause I was only trying to explain my side of story, and he should respect my feelings, but he thought I was treating him like shit. It's so tense, and this guy spoiled my day. Hmm. Anyway, we're still friends. He'd like us to stay this way until I got hitched. Oh, well, whatever suits him then. What I know is I'm not going to change my heart or my mind. At the end of the day, I'm always gonna choose my baby.
♥
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