So I've moved into the condo with the help from my parents yesterday. Guess I still have the old me deep down inside my heart who can't be separated from my parents for too long. Today I just had my first day of working in DKSH. I thought it's gonna be a bit leisure, but I was wrong. Met almost everyone in my department who are mostly 99% chinese. Met Vivian too, the one that I'll mostly work with. She passed down the raw data, working files and tagging sheet all that to me, which kinda left me overwhelmed. It's for study purpose first. Hmm. I've gotta say that the data are such a huge mess! Since the company carry so many products, so everything is twice harder and more complicated than what I did in Duopharma. I even had a second thought that maybe I made a wrong choice of being here. Maybe I'm unable to stay here for too long, 'cause it seems like the stress is potentially build up in myself someday. It's just a matter of time. I told my parents about my worries. They sound like they have hopes in me, I just...I don't know...Maybe I was just freaked out. For now I'm planning to just go with the flow for first 2 months. If I really can't take it, to a point that I feel like killing myself, then I'll resign. It's never easy as it seems. Especially when I'm moving forward all alone now. No friends, kinda sad. No love, kinda lonely.
Ya Rabbi, Please make everything easier and smoother for me. I definitely can't do it alone. I surely will stumble around without any of Your help, or guidance from people around me. I can predict how people will laughed at my lack of skills and knowledge, how they're gonna get mad and look down at me if I mistakenly prepare any kind of report. Please protect me from all that. Please protect me from any kind of incidents that can make me weak. Please avoid me from any failure. Please give me good loyal friends. Please never let me be alone and feel lonely. Hmm, it tears me up now, to keep on denying all the negative thoughts.
♥
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