She's Finally Married !

Now our family's getting bigger, from 6 to 9! All praises to Allah ♥

Hardly Standing

Two weeks have passed, but it didn't feel like in a blink of eye at all since I was busy counting days to go home instead of living the moment. 'Cause apparently I mostly spent my lunchtime alone at the food court. I got no close friends, for now. Hopefully I will have them soon. I wanna believe I'll get them soon. In the meantime, I'm slowly getting used to this kind of life. About work, well, I'm having quite a hard time here trying to understand the whole team structure which completely different than in Duopharma. The data also are very messy, to the point that even we update it daily by manual, it still never ends. Vivian taught me everything, but in a very fast mode. Couldn't even jot down the whole thing, and that leads to me doing mistakes even the petty ones. Damn it, I hate when that happened. I asked too many questions too many times, and I kinda realized she has that temper when I did few mistakes, but nevermind, I'll be extra careful next time. And if she's thoughtful, she would've understand that I'm new to everything and I did mentioned in my interview how a slow learner I am. What makes me different is that I'm willing to learn, which is good right? Okay well done, Alynn. Just need to hear a compliment, but it's only gonna come out from myself. Sigh. Why am I feeling so sad and lonely now? Also, a bit self-doubting whether I should keep going or not. Hmm, I wish I'm stronger. Please make me stronger.

♥

In Denial

So I've moved into the condo with the help from my parents yesterday. Guess I still have the old me deep down inside my heart who can't be separated from my parents for too long. Today I just had my first day of working in DKSH. I thought it's gonna be a bit leisure, but I was wrong. Met almost everyone in my department who are mostly 99% chinese. Met Vivian too, the one that I'll mostly work with. She passed down the raw data, working files and tagging sheet all that to me, which kinda left me overwhelmed. It's for study purpose first. Hmm. I've gotta say that the data are such a huge mess! Since the company carry so many products, so everything is twice harder and more complicated than what I did in Duopharma. I even had a second thought that maybe I made a wrong choice of being here. Maybe I'm unable to stay here for too long, 'cause it seems like the stress is potentially build up in myself someday. It's just a matter of time. I told my parents about my worries. They sound like they have hopes in me, I just...I don't know...Maybe I was just freaked out. For now I'm planning to just go with the flow for first 2 months. If I really can't take it, to a point that I feel like killing myself, then I'll resign. It's never easy as it seems. Especially when I'm moving forward all alone now. No friends, kinda sad. No love, kinda lonely.

Ya Rabbi, Please make everything easier and smoother for me. I definitely can't do it alone. I surely will stumble around without any of Your help, or guidance from people around me. I can predict how people will laughed at my lack of skills and knowledge, how they're gonna get mad and look down at me if I mistakenly prepare any kind of report. Please protect me from all that. Please protect me from any kind of incidents that can make me weak. Please avoid me from any failure. Please give me good loyal friends. Please never let me be alone and feel lonely. Hmm, it tears me up now, to keep on denying all the negative thoughts.

♥