Dear Muse

I was really tired today at the office. Not sure if it was because of my hormone. I rushed back home to buy a cake and three pizza combos for celebrating Mom's birthday tonight. She's happy, that's all that matters. Remember the Hi Melati that I told you before? I finally received it. Well, it should be yesterday but I forgot to pickup my phone when the postal guy called to confirm. So mom's picking it up for me from the post office. I would never thought that there's handwritten note, and a beautiful fancy looking ring that I've ever dreamed of. It was actually from him, my muse that I used to love wholeheartedly. I shed tears, I shouldn't but I couldn't help it. My fingers look much prettier with this ring on one of them. I really like the gift. I like whatever gift he gave me, and I'm still wearing the necklace from before. But there were so many thoughts. "It's all too late now", "Why does it seems like he still care, but all he ever did behind me was dissing me?", "I don't deserve all this good things", "I shouldn't even walked away", "Perhaps this was his way of having a final closure of me", "Was I really the bad one?", "Did I make a wrong decision again?" 

I don't know anything anymore. I've had a proper closure of him last month. I've promised not to look back again and just keep moving forward. No one deserves to judge me for not being sad and broken as badly as he is. 'Cause I was in pain too. I cried on my sleep too. I've had dreams of him too. I listen to sad songs and I think of him too. What should I do then? Crying won't even put things back in order. Writing won't even turn things back to normal. 'Cause it was all too late now. I'm sorry. It was a privilege to love someone like you, M. And I was the lucky one to be fully loved by someone like you. It hurts that we're over, but if we're destined to be together again, either one of us will come back around somehow. You were once so special to me, very very special. But I ain't gonna spend the rest of my life longing for you, wishing things to be different. I'm moving on now. Thank you for everything. And I'm sorry that you've met a huge failure like me, who didn't know how to appreciate you, love you, in the way you want it done. But listen to me, the best revenge you can give me is by being happy with someone else. It always works. I hope you'll be better.

Love, Alynn ♥