Friends For Sure

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Power Over Me

So I had another outstation meeting in JB for 4 days 3 nights. Best part of it was that I got to feel the luxury of staying in a hotel room with a queen sized bed alone. So good to walk around naked without having to worry someone will see me. The opposite ones were attending the two full days meeting, knowing that everything would be just fine even if I didn't go there. I mean, what was the purpose of my existence anyway. I couldn't take the minute of the meeting 'cause everything was already in the slides presented by the marketing team and whatnots. So really, why was I there again, I had no idea. Well, well. My contract will ended soon, on 15th May. I'm still in dilemma either to accept the job offer and stay with a not so good salary, or reject the offer, stay at home while scrolling down any vacancy online. I don't know man, I'm still figuring things out. Help me out, here?

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Promises

So I took MC on purpose just to go to a career fair held by Perkeso at NU Sentral. Please don't try it, it was a wrong thing, okay. Anyway, it was the third job fair I went to and it was a very last minute plan. You can imagine how desperate I was, looking a better job than what I currently have here. Surprisingly, I went there alone since none of my friend could keep me company. They were all busy with things. Thank God my parents allowed me to, they knew how much I needed to give it a go. But deep down I was actually scared to do it alone, so I asked someone if he's free, if he's near, if he wants to meet me. Then there we met again. 

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I'll Be Much Stronger and Less Nicer

I don't know what's going on with my playlist up there. It didn't play automatically, and even when I click the play next button, it just won't bother. I had to click to play any youtube video, the play next button, and only then the playlist will be alive. So yeah, help yourself if you're not a fan of reading in silence.
What do you call when you shed tears at the end of a working day? I call it a tough day. All because of the discussion with the IT team just now for the whole day. I've declined their invitation at first, but someone insists me to go so I did. And of course, I remind them so many times that I know nothing about whatever's going on there, so if they want me to do some checking on the data, they have to clarify everything to me, teach me the system one by one. 'Cause previously it was my superior who dealt with all this, and she never passed anything down to me. But when I asked them questions that a newbie like me would wonder, they gave me those face expression as if I'm already work there for 10 years and too stupid enough to not know everything! Not just with that vicious stare, some of them also were being sarcastic to me. How would I know that? Well, if you're in my shoes, you would know it. I was in that meeting room with those people for the whole day, being patience for every seconds. Until at one point when none of them fulfilled a curiosity of mine, I packed up my bag and bid them goodbye. Only then that philippines guy pretended to care "did you get it just now?", oh God, I was so angry to the point I hurriedly get out from there while saying "no, I didn't get the number 143 that you get, but forget it!", I then went downstairs and shed tears. The receptionist sister I'm close with saw me. And then my friend Nisa who left alone in the office noticed me too, she came closer and gave me comfort. I just...I cried a lot more and it sucks to hold back my tears.  ♥

Restless

Sorry I've been busy at end of March. We had kenduri at Kampung, it was so hot and tiring as well. Had to help in cooking, run here and there to get good photo, get a nice angle for video. Then I was one of the committee members for the Protege Closing ceremony at Putrajaya Marriott Hotel. Again, run back and forth carrying the boxes all that. It's a bit thrilling when the other committees were all Sabahan people, they were all fun to hang around with. Guess it's a bit sad and disappointing, the fact that now Lhava already left the company, we're so gonna miss her! Here goes separation, one by one of us will start to walk out of here, I'm so not ready for this. Ok enough with the mood wrecker, my high school girlfriend Balqis just got engaged! Gosh I'm so happy for her, we all are! That guy better treat her good. Hmm, shit! We're a grown up people now. My close friends mostly haven't get married yet, so it's okay 'cause we're all still enjoying ourselves, figuring out the world, future planning all that messy things. 

So that was how I spent my happy March and now let me tell you something about my April. Remember my superior, Sofi? She gave birth already on 19th Mac, and I've been carrying her job responsibilities since then. When it comes to a new month, there are soooo many reports I have to prepare. I'm doing them for the first time this month, you know. It does makes sense if she doesn't trust me enough. Turns out there are some errors in my reports, thank goodness she had the time to check them first. But I'm pretty sure I can do them right the next month. Ugh, it's so fucking stressful and really hard to do everything alone! I don't even have the time to drink water, or even go to the toilet. My work has been doubled up. With Joanna keep pushing me to submit the Hybris report urgently, with Kenny calling me and blaming me over petty things, with Tracy letting go a task to me that Marketing team supposed to do, with my boss Allen keep calling me out to settle the group's KPI, with the managers all reaching out to me for any help. I almost cried actually but I held it in and be tougher than usual. Please do pray for me, feel like I'm not getting any stronger to face all this. I don't wanna seem like a crybaby or sound like I'm complaining too much, but this all is too tough.

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