Third Month

Whoaaa, I haven't write since a month ago. Don't know how to respond to that. Anyway, it's my third month now, andddddddd I feel like giving up already I'm serious. I've been thinking, and I guess I'll be submitting my resignation letter this Tuesday, before I go for outstation meeting on Wednesday. It's such a waste, it really is. 'Cause I had fun learning new things, it's just that I don't like the working environment there. Had to deal with ladies, chinese mostly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being racist. But apparently I couldn't get along really well with ones' behaviour that I don't quite adore. People like me are not much of a talkative person, we observe others' personalities instead. Even after working hours, I couldn't sleep peacefully without worrying about what will happen to me tomorrow and days after that. Sometimes they expect me to know everything, and when I don't, I asked. But when I asked, I got scolded instead. My senior exec has been raising her voice to me quite a few times. What a sicko! And when I did well, no one has ever say good job or thank you. Hmm. Okay enough of that, let's just say I'm not happy working there. What I've decided now isn't something that I'm proud of. Feels like I'm a failure 'cause I give up so early, but what else can I do. Either way, I still feel useless. It's just that, it's better to feel useless around my source of happiness. 

Sigh. You were right. I am weak.

Second Month

It's been a month of living a new life here in PJ on weekdays. I couldn't stay alone here without my family, so I always went back home on every Fridays and spent my weekend with them. Aysar's growing up well, he's getting cuter every day, makes me wanna bite him! How's my new workplace? Well, it's tougher, as expected. I started off as a lone ranger, but now Alhamdulillah, I got a few new friends, so no more lunch alone. My annual leaves are so much lesser than everyone else, so I'm not quite satisfied with that part. Also, something sad happened last few weeks. I went to work on Saturday for a stock take, so I got 1 day replacement leave. Then I applied wrongly in the system. I swear I didn't know! Logically thinking, anyone including me would've choose the date that we would like to be on leave. But instead, here they set a rule which we have to put the date that we worked. So then I approached the HR people, explained to them what happened, thinking that they might understand but they didn't. I was really mad ugh I don't really wanna talk about it. It was really absurd cause my replacement leave burnt just like that. And the day that I was already on leave, I had to reapply an annual leave to cover it back. What a total nonsense! I know when being one of the HR team, it's really good to stick to the rules and be fair to everyone else. But you're also need to have empathy as well, and a good common sense. That K girl really got on my nerves that time. But in the end, I just have to cool myself down. It was a lost to me, but nevermind, I'm okay now. Can't really wait to get to December 2020! I don't know why I feel like quitting this job and just stay at home. Hmm.

♥