Nobody knows how a love starts or how it moves on or even when it ends. It just appears, grows and ends. Like us, mortals. One way or another, it ends, not always literally saying, but at some moment it loses part of the meaning it used to have. For a period of time now, I haven’t been able to completely get you out of my head, and when I think I have, somehow thoughts of you come crawling right back in. I know it’s over and it has been, and I haven’t been genuinely happy since. Every morning I wake up after a dream that I wish were true, and I don’t understand how you can’t love me back, or even how I can’t figure out ways to trick my heart into hating you.
I keep teetering between hate and love for the situation. They can be mistaken so often, but I never thought about it in that way before. I hate love, sometimes I wish I never fell in love, because I feel it’s an emotion that gives the human race something to strive for. The ultimate euphoria. It feels good only for a little in the very beginning, but takes efforts to keep up with the time. So what’s the point? We work hard to get this feeling that everyone is dying to have and some people don’t even achieve. Even if you do, it bites you in the ass on the way out. A final “goodbye” or what have you. Hate, on the other hand doesn’t do that. No one wants it and it doesn’t hurt you as much as love does. Hate burns people’s faces, love burns away dignity, pride, respect, trust. Hate doesn’t forgive, but it can forget. Love doesn’t forget, so it’s always there hurting you, tearing you apart, but love forgives.
What can I say really, sometimes a girl just gets swept off her feet, even though the guy isn't really prince charming, and there wasn't even a proper start or ending. But in my case, I'd only be able to properly get closure from the past once I meet someone new and love him hard.
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