So this morning my family went to bury Atuk's body near to Wan's, but Adda told me Mak wasn't going. She kept crying, she didn't have enough sleep, she didn't even have some breakfast. You have no idea how hard it is for me, and we have no idea how harder it is for Mak. Imagine your true love left you behind and no matter how much you love that someone, you couldn't do nothing but to redha since we believe in qada' and qadr. I can't say that I'm fine though, I'm still sad. Sometimes I was running through some old photos of me, Atuk and the whole family, then the tears kept flowing down out of nowhere. Well, it's not like I wanted to. Wallahi, I really miss him, I really do. No one knows how badly I want to see him, talk to him, shake his hands, kiss his forehead for the last time. But I have to redha too 'cause he's already in a better place. This probably gonna be one of the worst day of my life ever and I will never be able to forget that. Our responsibilities now as the grandchildren, I know we have to cheer Mak up, make her feel that she's not alone. Oh Allah, I don't know where this whole thing gonna bring us to. But I'm hoping that You will give us a lifetime happiness and unbreakable bonds between our family. Frankly speaking, I don't know myself at all, I thought I would be happy by now. And I'd like to believe that someday, me and my big family will be happy again, with His will of course. Hmm, I wonder if Atuk's watching me from above right now. I wonder if he's watching us all. I love you Atuk, and you will forever and always be in my heart.
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