Atuk

I don't know where to begin. It's all started yesterday, Adda told me about atuk being admitted into icu again. This time it was different. Atuk depended only on the machine to survive which means it's a 50-50 kind of thing. Mama and Ayah were supposed to spend a night here in ganu with me but they gotta go straight to the hospital instead to see Atuk. I had intentions to go home too, I even begged mom, but she refused and I understood. Plus I thought about Sunday too. I've classes on Sunday. Told Adda to keep me update about what's going on with Atuk 'cause it seemed like our family's whatsapp group was totally in a weird silence. Last night I had a weird dream, the whole family were there. I don't remember what was it all about. And this afternoon I had a really bad dream. Everyone was crying in that dream, including me. I didn't know why. I woke up feeling anxious, you know. 

And then 5.30 p.m, surprisingly Adda called me because she never did before and said "Kaklynn, atuk dah takde". Can you imagine how shocked I was?! It was a feeling that I couldn't describe at all. We were crying on the phone. I heard mom, along, mak and the rest were crying too. I hate it. I didn't get to see him for the last time. I missed my chance just like that. I didn't get to see Atuk before he left us. I was supposed to go back home on 30th, and ever since last night I kept telling myself that he's gonna be okay, he's gonna hold on till 30th, it's okay. I asked Him a little favor, it was to keep Atuk safe till I get to meet him and let everything be okay. But then, everything is not okay. I lost him. We lost him. I was worried about them all now, they may keep telling me to stop crying and be strong, but they're actually feel sad much worse than I do. Al-Fatihah :(