All praises to Allah, my family's expanding with another upcoming new member by next year, 'cause Nabila is 5 weeks pregnant! oh I'm so gonna be the coolest aunt to three little babies, ok kids, say whatever you want, Imma buy anything for ya. Now now, I've been slowly losing interest in writing and gaining in overthinking stuffs, again. I know as much as you would get annoyed or bored with reading my insecurities and my own words that belittle myself, trust me, I'm hating it too. So, better avoid anything like that, eh. Let see what positive thing to write about...Urm, all I can think about is how my body can't even fit into my old dresses anymore. Even the one that I never wear it. It truly sucks! I'm getting fat. Always had intention to jog the next morning but when tomorrow comes, I find it hard to leave my bed and sweats my ass all by myself. Think I need the sadness that can draws me out to the road, or a jogging partner that can make me feel less lonely. Hm, excuses.
This has been like, the fourth or fifth time of me spending weekends alone at home. I didn't really count. Doing pretty good so far, except for today. Had the worst menstrual cramps since yesterday. Got a liiiiitle bit emotional 'cause this reminds me of days back then when I isolated myself away from people everytime I got sick. And then Ayah would get mad at me, but still took turns with Mama to treat me even at midnights. While my brothers would always gave me whatever I want, only when I wasn't healthy enough to kick their asses. Now I only have Kila and Ayon, my sisters by souls. You know what, Kila bought Mcd meals for me without I ask for it. She called me out the door just now. I mean, what did I do to have such good friends like this. Thank you and I love you sooo much! And you just raised the bar for my future man, that's...well goodluck to whoever he is. Can you not get married yet, Kila? I don't wanna lose you.
♥